


Forgive me Father

by neffy1982



Category: Warrior Nun (TV)
Genre: Angst, Catholic Guilt, Confessional, Confessions, Desire, F/F, Guilt, Internal Conflict, Love Confessions, Religious Guilt, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:54:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26205277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neffy1982/pseuds/neffy1982
Summary: How did Shannon get the St. Christopher’s medallion she gave to Mary before she died?One shot confessional from Shannon’s POV.
Relationships: Shotgun Mary/Shannon Masters
Comments: 7
Kudos: 36





	Forgive me Father

The comforting scents of melted wax and myrrh greeted Shannon as she walked through the Church doors. She dropped her cloak on the nearest pew and immediately headed towards the confessional booth. Father Vizcaino’s jaw dropped in surprise when their eyes met. She smiled apologetically.

The stuffy confessional booth stood as a simple yet sturdy structure at the back of the church. The smooth dark oak gleamed in the low lights as Shannon pulled the heavy red curtains shut. Dust swirled around her as she sat on the hard, wooden bench. She rested her head against the back panel, exhaling in relief. 

Clicking rosary beads and a whiff of frankincense signalled Father Vizcaino’s entrance.

Shannon made the sign of the cross. “Forgive me Father for I have sinned. It’s been...,” she rubbed her forehead, “well I’m not exactly sure how long. Maybe three months since my last confession.”

“Bless you sister. You’ve been busy protecting us. It’s natural that your sacred duty comes first,” said Father Vizcaino. He sounded calm but cautious. Shannon did not blame him. The last time she showed up here, he and most of the villagers were possessed by Wraith demons.

She stared at the silver scars on her hands. “Duty can sometimes feel like a curse.”

Father Vizcaino sighed. “I can imagine how you feel about that. You and your Sisters have been trained to see the darkness in everyone.”

_ Not everyone. Sometimes a trustworthy person can bury his darkness with so much light that we become blind. _

But the Father was right. Shannon often wondered if she would ever walk down a crowded street in summer and simply enjoy the sights of families eating ice - cream under the Spanish sun; instead of searching for a lingering demon wanting to cause mayhem.

Even this beautiful village was tainted with horrific memories of swarming Wraith demons. It was a bloodbath by the time Shannon and the Warrior Sisters arrived.

“What’s troubling you, my child?” Father Vizcaino asked, breaking her thoughts.

_ Where to begin? _

Her dreams that exposed Father Vincent’s ulterior motives.

The Warrior Nuns’ secret diary that uncovered the Vatican’s darkness.

Her willingness to break her vows. Was she ready to say those words out loud about her best friend?

She opened her mouth, but nothing escaped.

Father Vizcaino must have realized she needed an extra push. “You’ve seen enough death for a lifetime but the recent...tragedies here were a first for you and your Sisters. Your Order suffered losses as well-.”

“Six of my Sisters are dead,” Shannon replied, her voice hollow and strained. Her nostrils flared as she remembered the metallic scent of their blood flowing from broken bodies, coating her hands bright red. Around her survivors cried; some from pain, others from loss and shock. She would never forget the fear in Lilith’s voice as she frantically searched for Beatrice under a fallen wall. 

Shannon had personally seen to each Sister’s Last Rites. Mary had initially protested and offered to help but Shannon refused. She was their leader. Every time they left the safety of Cat’s Cradle she led them to their possible deaths. Bathing their bodies and wrapping them in white cotton was the least she could do.

Their deaths weighed heavily on her soul. If only she could keep the rest of her Sisters safe from the traitorous snake. 

“Did you ever have second thoughts about your calling, Father?” she whispered, staring at her shoe prints on the floor.

Father Vizcaino stopped mid-sentence. She did not even realize he was still talking. He exhaled. “Recently yes. After the eruption here, I could not enter this Church or take the Holy Sacrament. I felt like an imposter in these robes.”

He paused.

Intrigued, Shannon shifted in her seat to get a better view of him through the latticed partition. Being possessed by a demon had aged him significantly. The wrinkles on his face were deeper and his once bright blue eyes were now dimmed and hooded.

Father Vizcaino lifted a trembling hand and wiped droplets of sweat away from his brow. “I still struggle with it sometimes. How do I repent for the suffering I caused when I wasn’t in control of my body?”

“None of it was your fault,” she assured him, “you are not responsible for your actions.”

He nodded. “Every time I pray, I thank God for you. You saved my life and probably my soul from damnation.”

Shannon bowed her head. Before she could open her mouth to insist she was simply doing what God chose her to, Father Vizcaino said, “When I woke up and saw you fighting like an avenging Angel with your sword, I knew from that moment everyone would be saved. I always keep you and your Sisters safely in my prayers.”

Shannon swallowed the lump in her throat. Safe. Were they ever truly safe? “I don’t think I can protect my Sisters from something they will never see coming from someone they have complete faith in.”

His head whipped up. Haunted blue eyes stared at her. “What?”

Shannon gripped her hair. “I’ve been dreaming of buried bones and a familiar face with markings that glow on his arms.”

She had confided her dreams to Father Vincent but deliberately left out the part about his glowing arms. The expression on his face increased her suspicions. 

“How do you protect the ones you love when you don't want to break their hearts?” she asked, not expecting an answer.

Mary trusted him with every fibre of her being. He found her, gave her choices and a fair chance. He gave her a family. He accepted all parts of her, and she thrived. 

If Mary ever found out about Father Vincent’s betrayal... Shannon could not stand to see Mary fall apart. 

Mary.

Beautiful, strong, quick tempered and loyal Mary. 

Her best friend. Her confidant. Her patrol partner. Her right hand.

The love of her life.

Shannon’s eyes blurred with tears. She squeezed the bridge of her nose to alleviate the pressure in her head. “I almost gave into temptation.”  _ Many times.  _ Tears splashed her warm cheeks. 

“In what way my child?” Father asked gently. 

Shannon sniffed and wiped her face. She exhaled a shaky breath as she clutched the edges of the bench so tightly that her fingers started to cramp. “I’m in love with… someone.”

Her shoulders sagged as though she had been carrying a mountain and she finally released it. 

“Did you act on it?” Father Vizcaino asked.

Shannon shook her head, her red hair tickling the back of her back. Her breath hitched at a sudden memory of them on patrol. Mary brushing her hair away from her sweaty face so Shannon could better aim at a moving target. Mary’s fingers had lingered against the side of Shannon’s neck, causing her to shudder. 

“No, I didn’t act on it, but I wanted to,” Shannon covered her face in embarrassment, “God knows I want to.” 

Guilt and fear clawed her belly when Father Vizcaino remained silent. Incoherent thoughts raced through her mind with endless consequences looming. She vaguely wondered if he would banish her from his Church.

There was a faint rustling as Father Vizcaino moved in his seat. “Temptation isn’t a sin Sister. Jesus himself was tempted in the desert and he resisted everything the Devil threw at him. Resisting temptation takes a lot of courage and strength. You’ve done that. There’s no need to worry.”

Shannon did not react. She could not bring herself to say that she was in love with a woman. With Mary.

She could not confess that she was the one who always found a way to touch Mary first. She could not admit to him that her favourite month was October because the chilly nights meant bonfires and shared blankets. Under the blankets, they would link fingers or hold hands while the other Sisters swapped stories and laughter. Mary would lightly stroke Shannon’s wrist. Shannon would sometimes draw invisible patterns on Mary’s leg with her fingers. Neither of them stopped the other.

“You are also human ,  Sister Shannon,” Father Vizcaino continued, bringing her attention back to the present, “even though you have been chosen as God’s Champion and gained exceptional abilities, you are still human. Your duty and life’s work are difficult enough. Do not add your feelings as a burden. They remind us that we’re alive.”

Shannon picked at a stray splinter on the hard-wooden bench. 

“What are you afraid of?” Father Vizcaino asked.

“Rejection,” she replied almost immediately. She winced when the splinter stuck the fleshy part of her finger. A drop of blood started to form but within seconds it disappeared. The wound healed. 

“The Halo’s rejection?” Father Vizcaino sounded puzzled, “forgive me Sister, but you know more about the Halo than I do. It has been part of you for some time. it knows your thoughts, emotions and actions and has accepted all of you. I don’t think you should fear the Halo rejecting you because you are in love.”

Shannon sighed. “I’m not afraid of the Halo’s rejection, Father. I’m afraid of that… person’s rejection.”

This was her real fear. Nausea gripped her. She pressed a trembling hand to her stomach. Yes, she knew it was an irrational fear but there were quiet moments when she was forced to confront it. 

Moments when Mary deliberately moved her face away when their lips got dangerously close. When Mary chose to sleep elsewhere instead of her bed. When Mary stayed away from Cat’s Cradle for days under the pretence of “running an important errand for Father Vincent.”

Those were the moments Shannon’s fear threatened to consume her. She accepted the physical limitations as a nun, but she could not survive without Mary’s friendship. 

Divinium might not be the only thing that could kill her.

Father Vizcaino asked, “Why do you believe they would reject you?”

Shannon snorted. “for my own good?” Mary refused to admit it, but her righteousness bubbled under the surface, especially when it came to Shannon. “That person has never jeopardized my vows, my trust, my honour or my duty to the Order.”

“I see,” Father Vizcaino mused.

Shannon wiped the tears from her face.

Father Vizcaino leaned forward in his seat. ““Do you recall 1 John Chapter 4 verse 18?” 

Shannon shook her head.

“‘There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.’ This is what I read to couples who are afraid of taking the next step in their relationships. Whatever that next step is for them. It can be something life changing such as marriage or something small like saying ‘I love you’. They are all afraid, but they shouldn’t be.”

Shannon repeated the verse under her breath. It settled her nerves and calmed her racing heart. 

“Don’t be afraid of love Sister Shannon and keep to your vows. They will guide you correctly.”

Shannon nodded. “Thank you for your support, Father. I feel much better now.”’

Father Vizcaino smiled. “I’m incredibly happy to hear that. You looked so troubled earlier. Thank you for trusting me.”

_ You’re the only one I could trust right now.  _ She still had to figure out how Father Vincent’s plans fit with the Vatican’s secrecy but for now, she had some clarity around Mary.

Shannon shoved the curtain aside and stepped out into the cool, empty Church. She debated staying the night before heading back to the city. She left Lilith in charge of training the new recruits. Beatrice would call if there was an emergency. Mary was due to return in a few days. If Father Vincent asked, she would say she was checking on the village in case the Wraiths returned.

She walked to the nearby pew where she had casually tossed her cloak. Out of habit, she rolled her right ankle, making sure the Divinium knife was still sheathed securely under her dark grey pants.

Father Vizcaino cleared his throat. She turned around.

“Are you heading back?” he asked.

She shrugged. “I haven’t decided yet. This village is so beautiful, I don’t want to waste my trip.”

He nodded and studied her intently. “I have something you need more than I do.” He reached into a hidden pocket in his robes and pulled out a small velvet box. “It’s been blessed already.” When Shannon hesitated, he shook the box, “please take it and wear the medallion for protection.”

Shannon smiled. “Thank you, Father.” She clasped his hands and the box.

“Will you honour me in a prayer to renew our spirits?”

Shannon beamed. “Of course!” She closed her eyes and bowed her head in reverence.

“Lord God, in your goodness have mercy on me; do not look on my sins but take away all my guilt. Create in me a clean heart and renew within me an upright spirit. Amen.”

* * *

By the time Shannon returned, Mary was waiting for her outside the steps of Cat’s Cradle. The midday sun glinted off the medallion bouncing on her chest.

Mary was smiling but her eyes scrutinized Shannon. “Welcome back. Did you find what you were looking for?” Mary asked.

Shannon grinned. She stepped in front of Mary, their bodies inches apart. Mary gazed at her face, searching for hidden clues that may want to surface. 

“Some answers,” Shannon replied quietly, taking Mary’s calloused hands into hers and kissing her knuckles. “I missed you.”

She basked in the surprising joy that glowed on Mary’s face. She was never this forward in showing her affection to Mary in public; but now...Shannon was determined to change that. 

Mary cleared her throat. “Well I’m glad you’re back. Beatrice is driving me crazy with new drills and formations. Even Lilith is scared of telling her something because she’ll kick all our asses, so we’re just doing as we’re told.”

Shannon laughed. “Smart.” She moved past Mary to greet the other Sisters.

“Shannon,” Mary called, “are you sure everything is alright with you?” 

_ Thou shalt not lie. _

_ What’s one more broken vow?  _

Shannon glanced over her shoulder. “Yes Mary. I’m figuring it out. Don’t worry.”

Five weeks later, Father Vincent ordered the Sisters to secure a Divinium shipment from the docks. 

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to JetpackingPenguin for editing the fic and letting me use her extensive Catholic knowledge. Please let me know if you enjoyed it by leaving a comment or kudos. Thanks for reading!


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